The same pain filled every nook and corner of his being every single day. But then again it wasn’t pain was it? It was actually the feeling of numbness that took the breath out of his .The most lucid of emotions seemed like a lost lover. Something he remembered very well, yet could not experience, no matter how hard he tried.
Life for him was like a blur of events, people and emotions. Not knowing what is happening or why. People would go for parties and enjoy themselves. However, even in fancy get-togethers he inevitably felt lost and lonely, even while being surrounded by a sea of faces. People wanted to reach out to him, yet his paralytic spirit confined him to a dark room, with solitude for company.
He was jealous, envious and had fallen prey to all of those little green demons one keeps bottled up inside. However, he could always escape from himself if he wanted to. His friends circle had taken care of that — booze, rave parties and the syringes took care of his problems time and again. But then again, there were times when even those were not available. He, however, had found a solution to that also. Jagged, neat lines carved along his hands and arms made him reconnect with the world once again. He felt human again once the blood started flowing. Otherwise he would start to feel like those zombies from Dawn of the Dead.
Ranvir had tried to distance himself from the world for long enough, but it just wasn’t possible. Somehow, everyday brought along with it a new bunch of messed up situations that always seemed to revolve around his wackiness and stupidity. So he used to stay away from all kind of social occasions. And in the process came severe pangs of loneliness and desperation. Tonight, was one of those nights. He did not want to interact with anyone but at the same time wanted to break free from the shackles of his house and his mind — forever. It was raining like crazy and the weathermen had predicted 24 hours of continuous rain. It was difficult to even make out what lay ahead on the slushy road. The glare of the headlights was just a blur. He welcomed the truck with a relieved smile as it raced towards his slim frame.
BY Kabir Singh Bhandari, Times of India, Kolkata